Monday afternoons I am lucky enough to tutor a little guy in reading. While I was waiting for my guy to show up, the girls in my class were all standing around together, chatting. This kid comes into the library and comes up to one of my friends who was talking to me. The kid (we'll call him Bob) looks at my friend and tries to get her attention. When she doesn't respond, he starts jumping and waving, saying "Hello?". She finally turns around and Bob is like "Aren't you my tutor....oh, nope. I guess not." My friend says no, and Bob turns and walks off saying "Awkward!" We wait until he walks off and then we crack up. It was awesome. It just goes to show that awkwardness happens at any age. :D

Most embarrassing moment of my life

Hello friends. I have a story to share.

I totally just ate sidewalk on my way to work this morning.

I was walking out front of my building, by the flag pole. There are a few steps up to get to the sidewalk in front of the building, and as I was making my way towards them, I saw a girl I knew and used to live across from. As I was saying hi to her, I forgot to focus on the walking part, and the fact that there was a step. I walked right into it and went down. THUD. It was awesome. Everyone gasped (of course there was a group of cute frat boys walking right behind my friend) and I popped right back up. "I'M OKAY!" And I walked right into my building, avoiding the stares. Turns out she works in the office below me, so there is a slight chance this could happen again. I hope not. Luckily, the only thing I hurt was my toe and my pride, but even that isn't hurting too bad, since I'm telling the whole world about it.

Doors...

Tonight I went to see Julie & Julia with my brother and my friend. I have to say that right now I have a renewed excitement for a) cooking and b) blogging. Oh, and the French. I mean, I've always had this sort of excitement about all of these things, but now, after watching that movie, I am determined to be a bit more enthusiastic about these things. At least until next week, when I start school again, and I'm drowning in a sea of French homework.

But, that is not the reason I am writing tonight. No, I am drawn by a bigger magnet. I am drawn by the awkwardness of doors. Yes, you read it correctly. Doors. They have a way of being awkward. I mean think about it.

Okay, so now that you've thought about it, you agree with me, right? I thought you would see it my way. So tonight after the movie, we obviously had to leave the mall, through a door. We tried the first door....locked. We tried the second door....locked. Yikes. It was beginning to seem as if we were locked IN the mall! All of a sudden, up run some crazy teenagers laughing and pointing at us. How rude! Then they open the ONE door we had not yet tried, and let us out. It turns out that they were people we knew, so it made it a bit less uncomfortable, but it was still extremely awkward. Silly doors.

But wait, there's more! You just thought the awkwardness was over for the evening! We went to a lovely icecream store where I got Cherry Limeade sherbet (and it was delicious, as always :D) . We decided that since it was actually kind of nice outside that we would take our treats to the patio. We had to wind our way through the throngs of people (who apparently thought it was a good place to spend their Sunday night, too) and head out to the patio. We tried the door, and guess what! IT WAS LOCKED! I was beginning to think that no one really wanted us to use these doors! So we decided it was best to sit in a booth inside and not make ourselves look even weirder by pounding on the door or trying in vain to push it open.

As we were leaving, we decided it would be really funny if the front doors were locked, too. And guess what! They weren't. We slid unnoticed out the doors, without the slightest bit of awkwardness. It was kind of sad at that point.

So those are my stories about doors. They can be quite awkward sometimes.

Awkward phone call of the day 7/29/09

First, I'd like to say that somehow that last post happened all on it's own. I was going to fix it, but I feel like it's more awkward this way.

Second, I already have another awkward phone call of the day, and I've only been here for an hour and a half this morning.

me: Budget and Asset Management, this is Emily. (I got it out this time!)
man on phone: Hi, will you have K call me when she gets off the phone.
me: She's not on the phone, would you like to speak to her?
m.o.p.: Sure, I'll call her.

30 seconds later...

me: Budget and Asset Management, this is Emily.
m.o.p.: She must still be on the phone. It's not going through. Will you have her call me?
me: Sure....
*m.o.p. starts to hang up*
me: Oh wait! Can... I tell....her....who you are? ( I was really caught off guard and this came out really weird!)
m.o.p.: It's J.
*hangs up*

Aw

Awkward phone call of the day 7/28/09

I must preface this with the fact that I went to Sonic for lunch today and I was drinking my Cherry Dr. Pepper when the phone rang. It caught me off guard.

*Ring ring*
Me: Budget and Ass... (silence because there is something in my throat) eh eh, excuse me! Budget and Asset Management, this is Emily.
Guy on phone: *stifles giggle* Hi, this is ___. May I speak to ____?
Me: Sure, just a minute.

*Transfers*
*Erupts into silent giggle fit*

I've got the golden ticket!

I sincerely believe that this story needs to be told. It is a realization of one of my fears, and it is just too good to pass up. If you're reading this, my challenge to you is to invite at least one friend to read it, too. Believe me, you won't be disappointed! Unless you have really high expectations of this blog, and then you might be. In that case, you probably shouldn't have quite such high expectations, because after all, this isn't really that exciting of a blog in the grand scheme of things. So, there is my disclaimer. Take it as you will.

I need to preface this story with a story: When I was younger, my family and I ate at Taco Bell one night during one of their promotional games. You peel off the little sticker on your drink cup and see what you won. It was actually pretty rare that anyone won anything, so I was ecstatic when I peeled mine off and saw the word "WINNER!" I jumped up and down, really excited-like. I had won something! Then, my mom took the piece to see what I had won, and upon further inspection, realized that I had won a taco. Yep, a taco. Not even nachos or a drink or something that I liked (because as I mentioned, I was younger and had not yet refined my tastes to where they are today). A taco. And thus inspired my irrational fear of winning something mediocre, but being really excited about it. I said it was irrational.

Yesterday afternoon, I returned home from work to see some mail in my mailbox. This never happens, so I was pretty excited. I received a mailing from a local car dealership. Boring, right? Wrong! This one had a key taped to it! That really intrigued me, as it was intended, so I began reading the flier. It had one of those little, scratch-off-and-win-something-if-you're-lucky-enough kind of boxes. So, I did, knowing that I never win anything and I would most likely be disappointed. But what do you know, I scratched off the little silver covering and lo and behold, I won. But, the kicker is that you have to call the dealership to see what you won. So, I worked up the courage to call. The lady told me that, yes, I had indeed won SOMETHING. She couldn't tell me what I had won, so I had to go to the dealership to claim my prize. It was either a new car, $1000 or up to $100 in gold. WOW! I was really skeptical, but I have some wonderful friends who are good sports and they said they would go with me to see if I had won that new car. Of course, the dealership was on the outskirts of town, but that was okay. I had won something!

As soon as we pulled into the lot, I knew this would be awkward. We walked into the building and were directed to a little office. I walked in and handed her my winning scratch-off paper and she told me the rules. Then she took my information. Oh boy, now I'm on their mailing list. :D Then she entered my number into the computer which then spit out an answer. It was SO exciting! And then...

"Well, you didn't win $100 this time, but you won a dollar!"

A dollar. That's right. I won a gold dollar coin! This was only made better when the lady felt the need to tell me that it was not a token, it was a real dollar that I could spend. Really? But, I was so stinkin' excited! I have never won anything, and just because I decided to play along and scratch off the silver film, I won a dollar!!!! Words cannot express how exciting this was/is to me. I mean, how often do you win a dollar? Not very often, let me tell you.

We drove off the lot, laughing so loudly they could probably hear us, reveling in my winnings. It didn't even matter that we had probably spent more in gas to get out there than I had actually won.

And that is the story of my golden ticket. Please share it.

Lunch time round about

So it's a perfectly lovely day in my small town, weather-wise. Of course, I decided to walk somewhere for lunch today. Unfortunately, the university at which I work is currently doing a lot of construction work on the main road through/around the campus. The eating establishment I wished to go to is just barely off-campus across said road, but many of the sidewalks are closed, thus making it difficult to know how to get across. I started my trek and realized this, so I began to go further east to walk around the construction. There was more construction. I kept going. More construction. Finally, I found an unobstructed passageway. I could finally walk south! As I began to turn back west to go back the 2 blocks I had gone out of my way east, what did my wandering eyes find? That's right! More construction. I had to go another block south. Argh. By now, the perfectly lovely weather was getting a little warmer than I had planned on when I had set out. But, I couldn't turn back now! I was getting closer to my destination, and I was HUNGRY! (Did I mention that I don't get to go eat lunch until 1:30 everyday?) I finally reached my wonderful sandwich shop and ordered, then went outside to sit under a shady tree and eat my prize. You'll never guess what I saw. Yup, I saw people crossing said construction cluttered street just a few yards west of where I had originally attempted to cross. Boy was I mad. But, in order to justify my 8 block detour, I have decided that I needed the exercise. It makes me feel better about eating my Philly Steak sandwich with cheese and mayo. Oh, don't worry, I had some veggies. Oh, and a DP to wash it all down. :D I love my awkward life.

Update on the "Saga"

New look! I feel like this is a bit easier to read, and a whole lot cuter. :D

So, nothing has really happened on the "saga" that I was beginning. In fact, the situation has all but disappeared. It's really rather unfortunate, in my opinion. Perhaps some day it will once again arise, but for now, it's off. Thank you for your patience, anyhow.

Now, a short story. Or two.

Short story #1
I have a friend. She has gotten it in her mind that she is not nearly as friendly to strangers as she should be. She has now taken it upon herself to make the world a better place, beginning with elevators. She's decided to bridge the awkward silence gap when in an elevator with strangers, or strange people. So, if ever you are in an elevator and a strange girl starts talking to you, you may want to run, but guess what, you're not going anywhere. Just grin and bear it, because believe it or not, Awkward Elevator Girl is just trying to be nice, not awkward.

Short story #2
Yesterday at lunch, I was so excited because my parents had sent me back from the long weekend with some peaches. I love peaches. So, I packed one in my lunch and after I had finished my delicious enchilada, I decided to dig into that peach. Unfortunately for me, the peach was nice and juicy. It exploded all over the white part of my blue and white striped shirt. I even had some on my sleeve. So, I had to go the whole rest of the day with pink spots on my striped shirt. What a fashion disaster!

Awkward phone call of the day.

Here's a new segment for your reading pleasure. Awkward phone call of the day!

This morning I answered the phone and the guy on the other end didn't respond. And then he did. Here's our conversation:

Me: Budget and Asset Management, this is Emily.
Man:
Me:
Man: Hello?!
Me: Hello?
Man: alkjdoifulkwerjo asodiul lkjsdfo lksjdfoiun lisdfh
Me: ...hello?
Man: lskdjfoiue lkdsjfo oiukj skjdi a ksdjfo isdk.
Me: ...um... I really can't understand you.
Man: lkjsdofi lkj oidu flkj alkjeoiu.
Me: (looks at K) I can't understand him!
Man: Hello? Hello? Hello?
Me: Um, I'm going to transfer you to K.
Man: slkdji jkuiwlk elksjdoiu lkjdfiu oieu lkjsiu.
Me: (transfers to K)
Man: (hangs up.)

Wow. Who knows what that was about. I sure don't. I really hope he doesn't call back this afternoon!

And so the saga begins...

Well everyone, I have an awkward situation that is about to unfold. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that I am bringing it upon myself. I intend to share all of the gory details with you once it is in full motion, but I'm not sure when exactly that will be. I have to work up some courage first. I mean, it takes a lot of gumption to bring on an awkward situation like this. So, that's really all I can tell you right now. Sorry for the disappointment, but you at least know its coming. Maybe as early as this afternoon. I'll keep you posted.

When we grow up...

A few weeks ago, one of my roommates and I decided to go to a larger town to the south and enjoy some retail therapy. We went to the mall and as we walked by a jewelry store, a poster of a sparkly engagement ring caught our eyes. We're girls, what can we say? So, Roommate took a picture of it with her phone to send to her beau, and whilst this was taking place, two random guys walk by and say...

Random Boy: Oh! Is that the ring you want when you get older? (in a VERY condescending voice)
Roommate: ...Umm... yeah?
RB: Oh, well good choice. ( Notices we're not 12 and scurries off into another store)

Who does stuff like that? Seriously. However, it has provided us with many hours of laughter. Many.

Mumbler!

So tonight I went to enjoy the delicious icy-ness of a snowcone with one of the most amazing people in the whole world. It was awkward.

AWKWARD STORY #1:

To begin, K and I walked up to the window and waited in line. Once it was finally our turn to order, I asked for a Pina Colada flavored snowcone. Then he asked me something that sounded like "Do you wannn sldkfoiausddnd or ouarekad?" HUH? "DO YOU WANT A CONE OR FLAT TOP?" OH!!! I get it. :D Then it was K's turn. She ordered a Cream Soda one.

When Mumbler finally got around to making our snowcones (there was a cute girl inside the snowcone place that he found fascinating), we couldn't figure out which one was which. So we asked him. And he stared at us. And we asked him. And he pointed. We still weren't quite sure, but we made a guess.

AWKWARD STORY #2

We spent a good 2 hours sitting in the back of K's truck, just eating our snowy deliciousness and talking with each other. The stand closed and the people working there (Mumbler and the girl and possibly the girls BF, we're not quite sure) left and it was dark. Some time later a truck pulls into the parking lot and sits there for a while; no one got out. We were in mid-sentence when one of the guys yells out at us "Hey, is this a hangout spot?" I really wasn't sure how to respond. "Uh, yeah?" "Oh, okay, well like why are all these cars here empty?" "Uh, I'm not really sure." "Oh, okay. Sorry to have bothered you." "It's fine."

Right, so that was the extent of our conversation, but really, why else would these guys be parked there and ask us those questions if they weren't there for a drug deal. Seriously. So, we're pretty sure that's what went down after we left, because not too long after our encounter, a car drove by and honked. We're thinking that was the signal. Yikes! The seedy underbelly of small town America.

Hooker...like a prostitute!

Okay, so I am currently employed by the University. I work in an office as the receptionist. This means that I am that friendly face you see when you come in to deliver budget forms and the friendly voice you hear when you call to ask questions about moving a chair from your office to the one across the hall. Needless to say, I get a lot of interesting phone calls.

I hate answering the phone. I don't know why, but something about it just makes me want to puke. I'm slowly getting over that reflex, but like I said, slowly. Anyway, I get a lot of people who want to tell me everything they need to know and then have me tell them the answer. Well, I have news for you: I don't know anything! I am just now getting to the point where I can tell you who you need to talk to, but please don't ask me to tell you how to fill out a fixed asset request form or to go and look at an item that is up for bid. I can't do that! Sorry, little side rant...

Back to the story of the day. This morning I got a call from a gentleman who shall remain nameless, but I thought he said his name was --- Tucker. So, I repeated the name to make sure I had the right one so I could tell my boss who was calling her. Boy was I wrong! His name was NOT --- Tucker!

"You said your name was --- Tucker, right?"
"NO. HOOKER! Hooker, like a prostitute!"
"Oh! Okay. Sorry! *giggle giggle*"

Yes, that's right. The poor man has probably had this happen before, and this is the way he chooses to explain his last name. Great choice. :D

Furniture shopping is fun...

I am new to this whole shopping for furniture thing. I'm slowly realizing that it's definitely got its ups and downs. But one thing I have learned is that bed shopping is weird.

I mean seriously, you go in, a sales person asks what you want (more politely, hopefully) and then leads you to a row of beds. So you're supposed to lay down on each bed and tell them what you like about each one as they look on (because honestly, you're probably going to stick that mattress in your purse and walk on out of there, right?). So, while you're laying there, you're really supposed to be deciding whether or not you can sleep in this bed for the rest of the foreseeable future, but what you're really thinking is, "OMG this is SO awkward!" How can you possibly make such an important decision when something so awkward is going on. I don't know, but I'm really hoping my decision today was made based on the comfortability of my bed (yes, I do realize I just used the word "comfortability". It fits.) rather than the desire to remove myself from the awkward situation. But alas, I feel that this is one of those life experiences that only makes you stronger. Plus, I got a new bed out of the deal.

Squishy...

Yesterday my roommates and I received the keys to our house! It's all very exciting, and we're ready to move in, but as we were doing our walk-through, I noticed a disturbing aspect of my bathroom. Let me begin with a story...

When I was a child, my grandparents had a bathroom that had a squishy pink toilet seat. I hated that toilet. I always avoided that bathroom if possible, and I still have a very weary outlook on squishy toilet seats. I even tend to rant about them if pressed.

Imagine my dismay when I get to my "new" house and see that my bathroom has just that. A SQUISHY TOILET SEAT!!! Gross. But alas, I had to use it; there was no other option. Suffice it to say that my squishy toilet seat fears have been revisited, and I am horrified.

This is the first thing that will be changed when I finally move in this weekend. Believe me.

A trip to Sonic...

My friend and I went to Sonic today. While we were deciding on our drink combination (cranberry lime slush) we noticed that there are no #9 or #10 combos. We joked about ordering one and tried to figure out what it would be. After we had gotten our drinks, a truck pulled up next to us and ordered a #9. No joke. And that was the extent of the ordering conversation. We were appalled. And slightly confused, because there were 4 people in the car, but they only ordered one thing. Then, a few minutes later the Sonic guy brought out the order. "3 chicken sandwiches, one without pickles and a watermelon slush." Who knew? It was absolutely hilarious.

Something to blog about...

Last weekend my roommates and I decided to go look at our house for this summer and next year to take measurements. We had been emailing back and forth with our landlord, trying to set a time to visit. We were under the impression that he had cleared it with the current tenants and that they would be gone while we were doing this. So not the case. We arrive and our landlord knocks on the door. One boy answers the door and says he has to wake up his other roommate. Great. It's 1:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday and the guy is still asleep. Well, we go on in and start taking measurements. As we're heading to the back room of the house, out comes the sleeping roommate with a girl. AWKWARD! Anyway, we continued measuring and taking some pictures, but it was really awkward doing so while the current people were still there.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Here's hoping something awkward happens soon. ;D

Best Meal Ever!

Hello Friends!

I hope you are all having a fabulous Valentine's Day. I sure did.

Even though I really don't enjoy this holiday as much as others, I decided to embrace my singleness and enjoy the evening with some other likewise single ladies. We went to Red Lobster for dinner, but of course, since it is one of the few nice restaurants in our lovely town, we had to wait about an hour and a half to be seated. So we decided to enjoy our time shopping at a local establishment. After about an hour of shopping we returned to the restaurant. We still had a bit of time left to wait, so I picked up a menu in order to make the waiting time at the table a bit faster. The moment I saw it, I knew what I wanted. I knew that I wanted the coconut shrimp with the pina colada sauce and a baked potato. And that's what I got. It was heavenly! It was then that I fell in love. As I was eating my delectable meal, the waitress came by and asked if I wanted more sauce. Of course I would have taken it, but I couldn't eat another bite, so I asked for a to go box and some sauce to go as well. She brought me back TWO containers of it! As I was paying for my meal, the girls had encouraged me to ask how they make the sauce, and I, being a persuadable girl, asked. She told me that they don't actually make their own sauce, they get it sent to them, which kind of burst my bubble, but worry not, I will never forget the meal I had tonight. So now, as I sit in my room, completely satisfied, I look back fondly on this evening and my perfect meal and remember that I've got the leftovers in my fridge. What a day.

Short Story

At dinner last night I reached for my chapstick (which was in my pocket) to reapply. I wasn't paying attention as I was putting it on, and normally I have to push fairly firmly, so I was applying the usual amount of pressure, but unfortunately the chapstick had melted slightly. Soft chapstick applied with firm pressure equals a mess! It was all over the side of my mouth and face. I tried wiping it off with my napkin, but that just made it worse. It got all over! Of course it probably didn't help too much that my friend and I were cracking up the whole time. It was hilarious.

A slight social blunder

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in my head.

Today I was in a class waiting for it to start when a couple of girls and I got into a discussion. We were talking about the teacher from our previous class, just discussing where she was from. She is from a certain town south of here that is well-known for being rather wealthy, and we were explaining to the girls who were from out of state what the town is like. It wasn't necessarily negative, but we definitely ground in the point that people from this town are generally wealthy. No one was objecting or saying anything like, "Hey, that's where I'm from, and I'm not like that," so we didn't really think anything of it. A little later we were discussing our own hometowns and how to get there. We started drawing a map on the white board of the surrounding states and marking on our map where we were from. The activity caught on and the rest of the girls came up to add their hometowns as well. This is where it gets awkward. One girl comes up and puts a mark near the middle of the state. "I think that's right..." she said. "Where are you from?" I asked. She looked at me and replied that she was from that certain wealthy town. Oops.

Our Little Friend

So, it has been a long time since the last awkward event in my life. Really, I think that since starting this blog, my awkward moments have just stopped happening. Sad. Anyway, today I come to you not with an awkward moment, but with a funny story. Of sorts.

So the other day, Sunday to be exact, my roommate found a cockroach in her shower. It was between the shower curtain and the liner, just hanging out, keeping warm. It was huge. I mean, we're talking mammoth here. Seriously. So anyway, roommate comes over to my room and is like "we have a problem." So I unassumingly ask what's wrong and she tells me the news. Then we proceed to stare at the little critter for 10 minutes trying to decide what to do with it, all the while watching him to make sure he doesn't creep off and go live in the couch or someone's bed. Meanwhile, time is ticking and we're running late for church. Never a good thing, but if you know me, you know it happens often. SO, we finally come up with a plan. We're going to take the curtain rod down, slide the curtain off of the rod and quickly take the curtain downstairs to the dumpster on our way to church. Solid idea, right? Wrong. After much debate as to who should be the lucky one to remove the rod, I rise to the occasion and begin to pull. BUT, much to our dismay, I realize that the entire rod is going to fall if I pull any more. Well, duh. But anyway, we needed someone to hold onto the curtain as I was pulling. Second roommate comes to the rescue and steps up to hold the curtain. As she is grabbing the curtain, our little friend drops a bit, causing quite a ruckus from us. We run out of the bathroom and regroup. We decide that probably wasn't the greatest idea after all. Now we're out of ideas AND time. Fortunately, second roommate has a lovely friend of the male persuasion whom we can call on in times of trouble. We called him and he said he would come over. In the mean time, first roommate and I head off to church in order to pray for the removal of all cockroaches from the earth. In the midst of our prayers, we receive a text message from second roommate informing us that our "friend" has been taken care of. What a relief! We return from church, bug killer in tow, to learn that our "friend" was indeed taken care of, and that it was quite an exciting event. So, now we have vacuumed our suite and are in the process of spraying bug killer at every possible opening to the outside world. There will be no more "friends" in our suite.

Well, there you have it. The story of how 3 adult women (and I can say that now because we are all 21, and that makes you an adult, don't you know) were terrified by a measly bug. That's right.