Underwear...

Believe it or not, I actually have two stories that involve underwear. For some reason, this can be a very awkward topic. Who knew.

Last week, my landlord called to tell me that he would be bringing people by to look at our house to rent. He said they would be coming at 10:30 on Wednesday, which was fine since I would be at school all day. Roommate 1 would be in class and roommate 2 would be at the house. Later that week he called back while I was at school and left a message saying that he would be bringing the people by on Saturday because of the impending snow/ice storm. Ergo, I did not clean my room or even make my bed Wednesday morning. When I checked my phone at lunch, I had a text from roommate 2 who had a rather rude awakening when our landlord began knocking on the door as she was getting out of the shower. Oops. Did I mention that I hadn't made my bed that morning? Well, I also hadn't bothered to move my dirty clothes. That's right, not only was roommate 2 caught off guard, but my underwear was sitting on my bed when prospective renters came through. And they were boys. At least there's no way they could know who I am. Oh wait, I have pictures all over my room? Yep, that's right. How awkward.

He's bringing more people by this afternoon, so today my room is spotless. I hope this will erase all misconceptions he has of my hygiene skills.

And now for the second of the underwear stories. As I mentioned, I am student teaching in Kindergarten this semester. Last week, one of my students complained that her underwear felt kind of funny. She went to the bathroom to check it out and when she came back she had figured it out. They weren't both the same size.

That's right, she was wearing 2 pairs of underwear, because as you know, a pair is two. A pair of shoes, a pair of gloves and yes, a pair of underwear. I found out later that the class had read a book about pairs the week before when I was not there, thus explaining the pair of underwear incident. I love the way little kids think! That and the insanity of the English language keep me rather entertained.

I never thought this would happen to me...

In an effort to appease a few of my followers, I have put aside my massive project that is due Monday morning to write a new post. I know I've been slacking this last semester, but give me a break! In between all of the awkward happenings and class assignments, I've been attempting to step out in faith every once in a while. So, forgive me for not keeping you informed; I'll try to do better.

Last week I went to the most incredible place. A large city in the state directly south of mine. It was a conference for some really cool people that I like to hang out with, and it was the best time I've had in a long while. Upon arrival at said conference (at a really cool hotel) we had to register, pay and get our room assignments. We couldn't be assigned a room until all 4 roommates had arrived. Through no fault of their own, two of my roommies were running later than me and my other roommie, so we had to wait. Whilst waiting in the lobby, we were chatting with some members of the opposite gender. Harmless, of course. All of a sudden, as I was reaching into my back pocket to retrieve my cellular device, I noticed that I was not feeling denim. Yes, that's right, I was standing there with a huge whole in my jeans for all to see. And to make matters worse, I did not have a room to run to so as to change into another pair of pants. No, I had to stand there for another hour or so with my pocket flapping in the air conditioned breeze. Luckily, my shirt was long enough that no one really noticed and I could position myself so that I was leaning against a wall.

Once we were finally united with our roommates and had made the long trek to the 5th floor, I was able to change. What I found when I looked at the damage was a ticking time bomb. Every corner of each of my back pockets was about to let loose. I guess I'm just lucky this didn't happen when I was teaching kindergarten this semester. That would have been exciting...

Now, I sincerely hope that this has satisfied your thirst for more awkward stories, at least for a little while. I plan to finish up my project, move back to school this afternoon, and then spend some time tomorrow afternoon updating you with more awkwardness.

Monday afternoons I am lucky enough to tutor a little guy in reading. While I was waiting for my guy to show up, the girls in my class were all standing around together, chatting. This kid comes into the library and comes up to one of my friends who was talking to me. The kid (we'll call him Bob) looks at my friend and tries to get her attention. When she doesn't respond, he starts jumping and waving, saying "Hello?". She finally turns around and Bob is like "Aren't you my tutor....oh, nope. I guess not." My friend says no, and Bob turns and walks off saying "Awkward!" We wait until he walks off and then we crack up. It was awesome. It just goes to show that awkwardness happens at any age. :D

Most embarrassing moment of my life

Hello friends. I have a story to share.

I totally just ate sidewalk on my way to work this morning.

I was walking out front of my building, by the flag pole. There are a few steps up to get to the sidewalk in front of the building, and as I was making my way towards them, I saw a girl I knew and used to live across from. As I was saying hi to her, I forgot to focus on the walking part, and the fact that there was a step. I walked right into it and went down. THUD. It was awesome. Everyone gasped (of course there was a group of cute frat boys walking right behind my friend) and I popped right back up. "I'M OKAY!" And I walked right into my building, avoiding the stares. Turns out she works in the office below me, so there is a slight chance this could happen again. I hope not. Luckily, the only thing I hurt was my toe and my pride, but even that isn't hurting too bad, since I'm telling the whole world about it.

Doors...

Tonight I went to see Julie & Julia with my brother and my friend. I have to say that right now I have a renewed excitement for a) cooking and b) blogging. Oh, and the French. I mean, I've always had this sort of excitement about all of these things, but now, after watching that movie, I am determined to be a bit more enthusiastic about these things. At least until next week, when I start school again, and I'm drowning in a sea of French homework.

But, that is not the reason I am writing tonight. No, I am drawn by a bigger magnet. I am drawn by the awkwardness of doors. Yes, you read it correctly. Doors. They have a way of being awkward. I mean think about it.

Okay, so now that you've thought about it, you agree with me, right? I thought you would see it my way. So tonight after the movie, we obviously had to leave the mall, through a door. We tried the first door....locked. We tried the second door....locked. Yikes. It was beginning to seem as if we were locked IN the mall! All of a sudden, up run some crazy teenagers laughing and pointing at us. How rude! Then they open the ONE door we had not yet tried, and let us out. It turns out that they were people we knew, so it made it a bit less uncomfortable, but it was still extremely awkward. Silly doors.

But wait, there's more! You just thought the awkwardness was over for the evening! We went to a lovely icecream store where I got Cherry Limeade sherbet (and it was delicious, as always :D) . We decided that since it was actually kind of nice outside that we would take our treats to the patio. We had to wind our way through the throngs of people (who apparently thought it was a good place to spend their Sunday night, too) and head out to the patio. We tried the door, and guess what! IT WAS LOCKED! I was beginning to think that no one really wanted us to use these doors! So we decided it was best to sit in a booth inside and not make ourselves look even weirder by pounding on the door or trying in vain to push it open.

As we were leaving, we decided it would be really funny if the front doors were locked, too. And guess what! They weren't. We slid unnoticed out the doors, without the slightest bit of awkwardness. It was kind of sad at that point.

So those are my stories about doors. They can be quite awkward sometimes.

Awkward phone call of the day 7/29/09

First, I'd like to say that somehow that last post happened all on it's own. I was going to fix it, but I feel like it's more awkward this way.

Second, I already have another awkward phone call of the day, and I've only been here for an hour and a half this morning.

me: Budget and Asset Management, this is Emily. (I got it out this time!)
man on phone: Hi, will you have K call me when she gets off the phone.
me: She's not on the phone, would you like to speak to her?
m.o.p.: Sure, I'll call her.

30 seconds later...

me: Budget and Asset Management, this is Emily.
m.o.p.: She must still be on the phone. It's not going through. Will you have her call me?
me: Sure....
*m.o.p. starts to hang up*
me: Oh wait! Can... I tell....her....who you are? ( I was really caught off guard and this came out really weird!)
m.o.p.: It's J.
*hangs up*

Aw